"We're all mad here."

If you are a person and you are reading these words, there's a very good chance that today is not your birthday.

As it turns out, today is not my birthday, either. In fact, there is an astonishingly high 99.7% chance that any random human being exposed to this website will not be experiencing his or her birthday, unless it the year 2012 (it isn't) or they are a Jehovah's Witness (who, lacking birthdays altogether, cease to count for a number of standard human characteristics entirely, such as love of piñatas). As I am enchanted by both stories and near-universal commonalities (due to their exceptional rarity), the title for this random collection of wanderings seemed only fitting.

So sit back and relax. Put that cake away- you have no reason to be celebrating and you'll just end up getting it all over the keyboard, you obesity-endangered hooligan. If you simply stumbled upon this place because you wanted to find out what you have in common with others, I suggest you go here. If not, well. Enjoy the insultingly small complementary bags of pretzels.